Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
