we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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