Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
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She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
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You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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