Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Still dying that you shit outside
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
