I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
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