the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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