I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
