How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
