that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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