she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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