Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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