WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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