So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
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THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
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You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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