I'm jealous of your bromance
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Actions speak louder than pants.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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