We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
