we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
