Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
