unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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