Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
