I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
