shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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