just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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