An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
