Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
