On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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