she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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