super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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