Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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