Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Randomize
