I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
