I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
