Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize