Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
whose parrot is this?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
