bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
We are two peas in an std pod
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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