hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
