I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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