We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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