"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize