Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.