i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident