apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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