also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Let's get the cat blown out
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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