I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
