'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
