You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
