went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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