just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
