definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
