Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
