So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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