ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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