im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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