Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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