i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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