Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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