So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I want to be your penis for a week.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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