I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
