I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Randomize
