I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
