A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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