I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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