Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Congratulations! We have a period
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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