You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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